be quiet

Shut the EFF UP, Leo, Skids and Mudflap

Hi, Everybody..

Go see Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen (make sure you turn off lights and unplug your fridge so the site won’t load and run so slowly). It’s truly a CGI masterpiece. I went to see it just to watch the robots move and transform. I enjoyed that immensely. I can’t imagine it being more top notch.

The story was a fine one, but it left us with no cliffhanger or any indication that there’d be a third movie. I’m sure once Michael Bay, et al, sees how much money this sequel rakes in, they’ll put out for a third.

Anyway. I wish we could have seen more of the motorcycle sisters. They had cameos at best. The cast of Autobot cars was well selected, with plenty from the previous cast and some new ones for this movie.

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So. Two new Autobots, Skids and Mudflap, apparent twins, got on my last nerve the moment I heard them speak. They barely shut up throughout the entire 2.5 hour movie, daggering us with badly imitated ebonics and hackneyed street slang the whole, entire time. They wound up being redeemable characters after a while, striking some significant blows to an impressive adversary, the Decepticon combiner Devastator. Otherwise, they were jibber jabbering idiots who needed no inclusion in the movie. If I were Optimus Prime, I’d have shot them myself.

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To boot, the lead character Sam Witwicky’s college roommate Leo wasn’t much better than the blabberjabbering twins. He wouldn’t shut up either. Leo is a conspiracy theorist who gets roped into the human/Cybertronian drama, and won’t shut up about his rights and who can force him to this or make him do that. He spoke at a very rapid clip in a whiny, scaredycat inflection most any time his mouth was open throughout the entire film. At times he exhibited an exaggerated b-boy, badass air, but was never ever just calm or chill or what have you. Blabba blibba blabba jabba jibba talka talka talka bla bla bla bla bla shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!!

So, the movie held my attention because I’m a Transformers fan. The movie will hold non-fans’ attention with near constant, over-the-top destruction and explosions, utterly superfluous, gratuitous sexual references, and equally superfluous attempts at crass “humor,” a la, John Turturo in a thong, and a pair of clanging, pendulous nads on Devastator.

If you can handle the negatives, watch it. Watch it someplace nice with stadium seating and great sound. The movie’s worth splurging on a better theater.

I took the photos from www.transformers2.net, and then I altered ‘em.
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